Today saw this nerd out and about in the real world of bad drivers and crowded aisles instead of the virtual one of horses and magical swords. Armed with a list and a mission we embarked upon a journey of spending money. This journey was a success.

Maryanne seemed determined to find tree toppers for the kids’ Christmas trees. Little fluffy beacons of color, standing a meager four feet tall, these trees are difficult to shop for. I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but finding tree toppers for a four foot tree seems nigh impossible. Most toppers are for the 6-8 foot variety. But with persistence, and the help of the always excited Hobby Lobby employees, victory, this day, was Maryanne’s.

Of course such battles often leave the deal-warrior hungry, so we made a pit stop for some grubb. I don’t think I can say it enough times, so I shall again. The Toddle House breakfast at Waffle House is completely, ridiculously awesome! And to make matters even more awesomer (yes, I totally just said that) I got that cheesy, gooey omlet covered in Bert’s chili. Mmmm.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my displeasure at the setup of the Waffle House. Because of its small space, and diner-esque style, the workers behind the counter must get a little too hot. My suspicions are due largely in part to the frigid artic air blowing from the ceiling and down onto me and my delicious food. Coffee never got so cold so fast. But I digress… On to ornaments.

Let me start by saying that our Christmas tree is up. Lit, decorated, and up. Maryanne did a wonderful job one day while I was at work, allowing me the joy of coming home to a beautifully decorated tree. It would seem, however, that the tractor-beam force of a 50% off sale is too much to resist. So all week Maryanne has been dropping subtle hints indicating how much money I can save by going to Garden Ridge to buy Christmas ornaments at 50% off. Needless to say I was skeptical.

Regardless of my doubts we proceed to Garden Ridge. Madhouse. Say the words “50 percent” and people go insane. Ornaments broken and strung out everywhere. People are more likely to run you over to grab some sale item than to give a friendly hello in this glorious season of giving, and today was no exception. A line wrapping four aisles led the way to the cash register, the only obstacle between me and glorious freedom from sale-hell.

Now please note that Maryanne’s argument to get me here in the first place was that a few of our current ornaments were scratched or broken. A few… We end up walking out of this store with four new boxes of ornaments. FOUR. Le sigh.

With new ornaments safely secure in our vehicle we move on to Home Depot to find an inflatable Christmas tree. The Home Depot in Allen has this tree on display. Wouldn’t ya know it? They don’t actually CARRY the product in their store. Turns out, though, that the McKinney store does.

Maryanne: Can we go to McKinney and get it? Pleeeaasssee?
Adam: le-sigh Ok.

Onward we travel. Though dangers unhead of we arrive at the McKinney Home Depot. We spot the inflatables display and make our way towards them. Funny thing about Home Depot. They don’t actually stock the inflatables NEAR the display. In fact, they are all the way across the other side of the store. Go figure.

Once our adventure is done we actually make it home. I must say that the yard looks pretty good, and all the neighbors are happy we have finally got the yard decorated. Pictures will follow soon, so stay tuned.

Now Maryanne wants to edit the annual Christmas letter. Me personally, I’ve never written a letter summarizing my entire year so that distant relatives and friends long forgot can know what is happening to me. Maryanne, however, does. Every year. I did get to experience this last year, so I’m not exactly new to it though, so I was certainly prepared.

Have you ever tried to do this? You should. Just for fun. Go back in the annals of your mind and recall all the events of this year. Now try to summarize them into a single page letter that you will print on Christmas paper stock, which has large graphics in the margins, making the space available even smaller. I will go on the record and state that the trimming down of the letter is entertaining.

I, being the effecient minded person I am, decided that, given the opportunity, would do my Christmas letter in outline format, so that it is as small and to the point as possible. So below is how mine would look.

• May - Adam get promotion to Lead Software Architect
• May - Aaliyah, Katy graduate pre-K and high school. Look cute.
• Maryanne quits job.
• Girls move and start new school. Wear uniforms. Taylor doesn’t like it. Maryanne does.
• Taylor gets in Gifted and Talented class. Aaliyah likes school. Tells funny stories… 20 times.
• Adam goes with Maryanne to 20th high school reunion. Maryanne likes it.
• We trade in CRV for a Toyota Camry
• Adam gets Bells Palsy. It sucks.
• Thanksgiving was awesome… except for the dental work and eye appointments. Otherwise, awesome.
• Taking family trip to Minnesota to visit Maryanne’s brother. Adam and kids’ first plane ride.

And there it is.