What am I to do? I’m not always depressed and sad. But sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that this, the me my friends and coworkers have come to know and expect is all I’ll ever be. That isn’t too much. I’m generally the light hearted, obnoxious, lovable nerd. But that’s it. The lovable nerd.

What more do I expect? Not 100% sure, but I can say that it can be hard to imagine that this is what I will be, and who everyone I know will expect me to be, for the next 40 years. No one wants to be mediocre. Everyone wants to be a bit more. To be special to someone or more than someone. To be remembered for something more than just the lovable nerd.